I’m not going to tell you not to smoke.

I’m not your ma.

I’m also not going to tell you about the health risks, because we all already know. After all, we’ve seen the big rotten tumour on the fag packets.

I am going to tell you that smoking makes your Life Insurance premiums more expensive.

And don’t think you’re not included in this one too, holier-than-thou-vape-smokers. While your vape may smell like cotton candy or whatever notion-y flavour you’ve gone for, the insurers will charge you more too.

How much is mortgage protection insurance in Ireland?

The average cost of mortgage protection in Ireland is €23.46

And that concludes this blog post.

Have a nice life.

But what if you're not average, what if you're remarkable like most of our clients?

Well then my friend, I urge you to read on.

After months of stress with mortgage approval and finding a place you's like to call home, you're finally sale agreed and ready to close.

It should be a breeze from here.

All you need to do is arrange your home insurance and mortgage protection - your bank said that would only take a few days.

But what the bank failed to mention was the bajillion health questions on the mortgage protection application form and what would happen if you answered yes to any of them.

We bought a mid-terrace in Drogheda (Meath Part) in a really quiet and lovely neighbourhood. It has 3 bedrooms, a living room and kitchen and a small garden.

Because of our budget, we had to go for something structurally solid but still had a lot of stuff to be done by ourselves.

We lost bidding on the houses with less work ?

1 in 5 Irish people live in rented accommodation.

They need life insurance.

Here's why...

Remember that beautiful fully-furnished house you viewed and fell in love with?

Well, congratulations, it's your new home.

Sounds a bit empty doesn't it, a bit echoey?

That's because the feckers who sold the house took EVERYTHING, the only place to sit is the toilet and you're lucky they even left that.

Trying to buy a house right now is akin to putting each of your fingers into a blender and grinding them down to the bone. It’s self-torture; it hurts, and it’s largely pointless.

But that’s not to say that all hope is lost! This is why we’ve decided to highlight some good news stories.

All while gently peddling Mortgage Protection, because someone has to buy food for my kids.

First up, we talk to Lisa, a 30-year-old marketing manager. Is ‘Lisa’ a real name or an elaborate ruse? Hard to say. Either way, let’s dig in and pass the metaphorical microphone over to our aforementioned home buyer.

If you’re on the lookout for a new home, you should be familiar with the key clauses that make up a typical contract for sale.

You’ve probably also read about the importance of getting these right before you sign on the dotted line.

However, while many clauses are simple enough to understand, there are a few that are less straightforward — particularly those related to the purchase itself.

If you’re unclear on what each clause means, how can you know if they’re right for your situation?

Tackling a self-build, eh, you're brave...and patient...and have deep pockets, but it will be worth it in the end.

I only wish I was as brave; instead, I'm stuck with a tiny kitchen and an enormous living room. Them's the break of not designing your own gaff, I guess.

Ah well, we're lucky to have a house. I feel for those trying to buy in Ireland. What a sh1tshow it is.

But I digress.

Here are some FAQs on self-build mortgages that you might be asking too.

In this blog, we answer a client query:

We don't have an agreed closing date for the sale yet, we're still waiting on the first draft of contracts.

Is it too early to start the ball rolling on mortgage protection? We're hoping to get everything done and keys by the end of next month?